Early findings released by the Census Office has revealed that there is one poor bollocks somewhere in the country who plays traditional Irish music on the melodica.
The melodica is well-known in various circles of music as being a shite 'instrument', however this hasn't stopped one gobshite from attempting to play traditional music on it, leading many people to claim that he is taking the piss.
A female traditional musician tasked with leading a children's session at a local festival has said that she had no idea how unrewarding the whole experience would be.
The kids' session took place a family friendly pub/restaurant during the afternoon, allowing annoying parents to bring their stupid families along for the day. The woman leading the session described the experience as 2 hours that she will never get back.