UL STUDENT ACCUSED OF 'WITCHCRAFT' BY FLEADH ADJUDICATOR

By Caoimhín Mires

One of a panel of judges at a county fleadh fiddle competition has accused a student of the University of Limerick’s ‘Masters in Traditional(ish) Music Performance’ programme of “witchcraft” after deeming her competition performance to be far outside the realm of normal human ability.

Terence O’Dreer, himself a fiddle expert of some 35 years experience, defended his statement on the grounds that the student’s high level of non-failure was simply not covered in the competition judging guidelines provided by CCE. Talking to a Drone reporter earlier today he said:

“You know, the quare way she held the fiddle shtick without makin’ a fist and, you know, the way she could do the... what do you call them... rolls... with her eyes closed... and the swayin’ in time and flickin’ her hair and all... sure, jaysus lads, it couldn’t be natural. Any normal crater would have made a right balls of it!”

The student, who wishes to remain nameless mostly for modesty reasons, took the judge’s remark in good humour: “Well, I just did brilliantly what I’ve been trained to do in UL, but without a takeaway coffee and the support of the One Ring... which did make it a lot more challenging, actually. I think the judge in question just found my minimalist trad take on 'Javanese Gamelan' interesting. He said it was the best Kerry music he has EVER heard.”

A spokesperson for UL refused to confirm reports of sorcery and animal sacrifice at the university’s music department but said that their 'all-seeing eye' will look deeply into the matter.