CONFUSION AT DUBLIN AIRPORT AS CUBAN UILLEANN PIPER ALEX 'SUAREZ' MENDEZ MISTAKEN FOR WORLD CUP 'BITER'

June 27, 2014

Confusion reigned over immigration at Dublin Airport today as prodigal Cuban Uilleann Piper Alexander 'Suarez' Mendez was mistaken for Uruguayan and World Cup 'biting' star Luis Suarez.

 

Authorities were alerted as the piper made his way through customs. Officers believed that 'Suarez' was in fact the notorious Liverpool star who recently received a world wide football ban for biting an Italian player during the World Cup in Brazil.

 

One customs officer told us: "We were sure that Mr. Suarez was in fact the man who has been in the news over the past few days. We believed he was portraying himself as an uilleann piper to gain entry to our great nation in order to bite Kevin Kilbane."

 

Upon hearing the news, the Italian FA released a short statement decrying the fact that Suarez was allowed enter Ireland to partake in traditional music festivities. Giorgio Chiellini, the player bitten during the World Cup, said, "I can't believe it. I'm sitting here knocked out of the World Cup while Suarez is still allowed to go and play pipes. It's not fair."

 

Many have called for the football ban to be extended to Irish music. A spokesman for Enzo's Italian Takeaway in Ennis said, "This is unacceptable. We have a great tradition of Irish music here in Ennis and Suarez is still allowed to enter our country and play. The ban must be extended."

 

The matter was cleared up when the dental records of the two Suarez's were compared, revealing that Alex  Suarez Mendez was in fact NOT the Uruguayan star. There have been unconfirmed report however that he has tried to bite another uilleann piper's bag. 'The Drone' will keep you updated.

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