PUSHY PARENTS WANT LITTLE JIMMY'S FLEADH TUNES A WHOLE YEAR IN ADVANCE

A local dickhead couple have brazenly told their son's accordion teacher that they want them to start preparing little Jimmy's tunes for next year's Fleadh. This is despite the fact that this year's Fleadh has not even taken place yet.

The family, who hail from Limerick, have a long and rich background in being dickheads with their own parents and their parents before them being right cultured arseholes. Little Jimmy's accordion teacher explains:

"I'm bloody sick of them. They come along each week to the class with their own critique of the tunes I'm teaching. The pricks don't even play music themselves! They've no background in it whatsoever!"

The parents plan to bring little Jimmy to this year's Fleadh in Sligo even though he didn't get through the Limerick Fleadh but they are confident of being able to bully their way into the competition. If they are unsuccessful, the couple say they plan to attend the competition and make little Jimmy sit right up the front and take notes.

"It's only right. Our little Jimmy has been playing for a long time, he should be up on that stage. We're going to sit beside the adjudicators and see how they judge the others and if we need to correct them. We've already planned for Jimmy to sit right at the front so when he turns 4 next year, he'll be well prepared for the Fleadh."

The couple say that if the tunes aren't up to scratch they'll have to discuss the situation with Jimmy's teacher and "possibly withhold payment for classes based on the appropriateness of the tunes". The accordion teacher has already given his answer to the couple in no uncertain terms:

"Go fuck yourselves."