CÉILÍ BAND THAT PRACTISED EVERY DAY A WEEK FOR 6 MONTHS WINS CRAPPY TROPHIES

A céilí band that practised every day a week for 6 months straight had won this year's All-Ireland Senior Céilí Band Competition at the Fleadh in Sligo and in the process will go home with the grand prize of two shitty trophies.

The Knockmore Céilí Band triumphed in the Super World Céilí Band Death Challenge beating some stiff competition in the form of 12 other bands who sounded just like them. However the deciding factor was the extra 2 days practise they had over their rivals.

"Yeah that 2 days was really vital. It gave us the time to perfect this one cut that we were to do all at the same time that was so insignificant it might as well not have been there but hey, céilí bands in this competition have to have that uptight, orchestrated sound nowadays."

The band now get to go home with a rusty cup that Chairman Lau won for coming 3rd place in a 'Potato and Spoon Race' in 1908 and a rotten piece of wood shaped like a harp that breaks into two smaller pieces of rotten wood.

This news comes in spite of many saying that the céilí band formula is well past it's 'sell-by-date' and is simply a CCE tool to hype up the organisation. The band say they are unputurbed by these statements and plan to start practising straight away for next year's competition and the almost inevitable '3-in-a-row'.

"We can't wait to start practising. There's real honour in winning this even though we spent most of our lives the past 6 months practising for a competition that means nothing, losing some of our wages on the way and not even getting a ccash prize...but it was worth it! Now we can't wait to drink some victory champagne from this rusty cup and get tetanus!"