ROAD SWEEPER CALLED IN TO CLEAR BUSKING CHILDREN FROM SLIGO STREETS

August 22, 2014

In a move that has been described as 'a last resort', a mechanical road sweeper has been called in to clear busking children from the post-Fleadh streets of Sligo town and restore order to the once peaceful town.

 

The road sweeper was brought in after councillors received an abundance of complaints from local residents about the continued presence of the child buskers, who they claimed were causing an extreme disturbance to the general public with their 'noise pollution' and were blocking every day traffic.

 

Speaking to 'The Drone', TD 'Ming' Flanagan said: "It was imperitive that we restored the streets of Sligo to their original state. Even I don't understand it. The Fleadh ended nearly a week ago and they're still here playing the same two crap tunes over and over again!"

 

"I know from my own experiences of festivals that after a few hits from a joint I'd be standing out on the street a week after it's over, not knowing where the hell I was. But these kids weren't even smoking the stuff...They're madder than I am."

 

It's thought that the abundance of child buskers stems from encouragement from the parents who wish to see their kids on the world stage on a path in Sligo. This has led to an array of bewildered children playing on the street during the Fleadh.

 

Even a week after the Fleadh has ended, the majority of the children still seem to be there, waiting for their parents to tell them to stop. It is hoped that the company called in to take of the problem, 'Musical Waste Management Inc.', can successfully dispose of the children.

 

"Along with the mechanical road sweeper we plan to use a highly toxic cleaning agent, measuring '10' on the 'Attention Seekers Scale'. It's a mixture of old person smell, vegetables and an early bed-time, all things that young kids don't like. Maybe after this they'll learn to play inside or listen a decent session."

 

'The Drone' has acquired information regarding an unwritten code of conduct between buskers, consisting of a 'no-more than 2-feet between busking groups' agreement. Other rules include 'only the Sally Gardens and The Irish Washerwoman can be played' and 'busker must over-use their cute-factor to obtain donations'.

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