3 CHORD TRICK GUITARIST STEALING THE SHOW, COMPLAIN OTHER ACCOMPANISTS

By Adolf McMahon

Guitarists and bouzouki players are up in arms following news that an emerging guitarist using only three chords per tune, has been getting the shout to play with everyone under the sun, leaving hordes of unemployed disgruntled accompanists.

“Why should he get shout for all these festival gigs when he doesn’t even use a major 7th in reels, jigs or whatever?” a well known player(who asked not to be mentioned by name) nearly crying exclaimed to the Drone, "Where’s all his syncopation and polyrhythms?"

"I’ve been getting these gigs for years and suddenly I’m out of work with rent and child support to pay. I’ve never been even asked to stop playing in a session ever,even when I bring my own personal amp because it can be pretty noisy in these pubs", Arnold Jurgen O’Murphy told us, who also happens to be a 6ft 8inch ex-wrestler guitar giant.

Busy wizard and speed merchant Anthony McGloin isn’t too happy either, “All he does is back the tune for feck sake. My granny could do that in her grave. I know every chord under the sun and can usually use them all in every tune with every rhythmic variation known to man."

"I just can’t get my head around what the problem is. It’s like I did all that work on my instrument for absolutely nothing and here comes this little scut with D,G and fecking A, no 7ths or sharp 5ths and all the available alternative chords out there. Sure I haven’t played a straight D chord since I was 15!”

The unknown guitarist has been laying low, fearing for his life following threats in the post from anonymous sources. There is no DNA on the letters with the only distinguishing mark a postal stamp from 'Oranmore Castle'. He is currently seeking protection from melody players who might sympathise with his situation.

“It’s not like I want to steal gigs from other players. I just enjoy backing the tune and keeping time but the phone just keeps on ringing. I may just have to bow out gracefully before this becomes too serious.”

The Drone will keep you updated on his physical well being.