BANJO SHORTAGE FORCES MAKER TO ADVERTISE RIM-JOBS

By Bob G.

A recent Banjo shortage has placed Balltobin, Kilkenny, on the map again.

The O'Riordain Banjo factory has placed ads for hire in local rags/papers to ramp up its’ current workforce of three men and a cow.

John-Joe Callahan, banjo stringer and longtime rim-jobber at the factory, was recorded as saying that this is" the worst of times as demand is high and supplies are nearly exhausted due to recent changes in plumbing regulations."

It was learned that in April of this year a new law was passed that required pubs to provide adequate facilities in every loo for patrons. The rush to upgrade the toilet seats with resonators and Banjo rims has stressed the factory to its’ breaking point.

Factory owner Mick O’Riordan was quoted as saying, “ The demand from plumbers has been overwhelming. We have back orders of between ten and fifteen banjo rims per month and for what, to cater to a politician who had an unpleasant seat in the loo at some establishment?”

The Drone interviewed a local Publican that refused to be identified as his pub and namesake, John Day’s Bar. He said that he was met with resistance from local plumbers when he ordered a new seat for his customer’s loo.

As a result, he purchased a new seat on the black market at inflated pricing. Although he lauded the comfort of sitting on a Banjo rim as opposed to the old “U” shaped wood piece, he wished he had more time to have installed a resonator to make the respite into a more pleasant experience for his customers.