Shopping figures released today indicate that the 'Chairman Lau Mask' is 2014s most popular Halloween item and is expected to be worn by trick or treaters all over Ireland.

Traditional Irish musicians recoiled in horror at the sight of the mask which depicts the dreaded Chairman-for-Life and can be bought in a variety of expressions including the 'Presidential pose', the 'CCE branch-dissolving glare' and the 'non-transparency sneer'.

The creators of the mask 'All Things Lau Inc.' are expecting a windfall of up to a million euros this Halloween thanks to the mask alone and their cornering of a niche market:

"We knew we had a pretty good idea but the response we got was overwhelming! We've had to triple our output just to keep up with the demand!"

"We have a number of other accessories too. We have the green CCE suit, the formal handshake, the 'I-don't-know-what-this-instrument-is' concert flute and the obligatory 'swag bag'."

People are expected to greet any trick or treaters wearing the mask with complete subservience, obligatory photo for Treoir magazine, an offering of gold and silver and probing questions on the CCE coffers.


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