IRISH GROUP 'BREAKING TRAD' ARRESTED FOR COOKING TUNES

An Irish traditional music group has been arrested for apparently cooking tunes, a strategy which caused countless people to become addicted to stylised playing.

'Breaking Trad' members Niall 'Pinkman' Murphy, Donal 'Heisenberg' Murphy and Mike 'Ehrmentraut' Galvin were taken into custody after being caught cooking 'ornament-amphetemine', a substance that causes those who take it to immediately lash into a set of tunes with wild ornamentation.

The members claim that what they were doing is not illegal and that there is no law that prohibits such ornamentation. Donal Murphy explains:

"It's mad really. We thought up the idea after sitting down to play together. We thought it sounded great so we decided we should try and market it! We knew our Leaving Cert chemistry would come in handy one day."

"We bought an RV and came up with the 'ornament-amphetemine' when combining things like Guinness, Supermacs and a bit of whiskey. There's nothing in the law that says we can't do it so we think it's a big do over nothing."

Festivals all over the country have seen a rise in people taking the ornament-aphetemine, resulting in wild sessions that go on for all hours of the night. Publicans are lashing back at the new trend saying they need some sleep.

However the 97% pure substance is still seen on the session streets with the wild tunes breaking up families and ending friendships. The groups are still in custody and have been assigned one James McGill as their lawyer.