NIGEL FARAGE QUITS UKIP; IMMEDIATELY ELECTED CULT-ASS LEADER

In the wake of his stepping down as UKIP leader, Nigel Farage has immediately found himself employed again as all conquering leader of Irish traditional music organisation Cult-Ass.

After being unceremoniously dumped by the wayside in the recent UK General Elections, Farage quit as leader of the UK Independence Party, But his unemployment was short lived as he was immediately contacted by Cult-Ass officials looking for a brand new, progressive and inclusive style leader.

Mr. Farage says he is looking forward to running such a culturally forward thinking organisation as he has always championed other traditions, especially those from Ireland and mainland Europe.

"This is a fantastic opportunity for me. I was disappointed to lose my seat in the UK but this has given me new hope for the future. I look forward to working with a foreign culture, something I have always aspired to do!"

"However we must be careful. Irish music is at a crossroads. There are many factors and other music that is diluting the traditional music scene. Cult-Ass is a wonderful opportunity to show my softer side. The paycheck isn't bad either!"

Farage's duties will include swearing in new Ard-Comhairle members, opening music centres and basically being a representative of the inclusivity of Cult-Ass. Other members believe he will be perfectly suited to the role.

"Nigel has always been a man promoting equality among people and we're delighted to have him work with us! His ideas are very forward thinking, much like our previous leader, Chairman Lau."