SLIABH LUACHRA POLLING STATIONS TO USE ACCORDIONS AS BALLOT BOX

Voters in the Sliabh Luachra area of Cork and Kerry will be undertaking a new form of voting today as they ditch the traditional ballot boxes for a different kind of ballot box; the accordion.

People have been voting all day in the referendum on gay marriage with the majority of the population going the usual route of using a pencil and paper to indicate their preference. However people in Sliabh Luachra have decided to change the ballot box to an accordion on which to play a tune to indicate their vote.

Kerry native and Senator, Michael Healy-Rae, told The Drone that because of the differences in attitude of people in Sliabh Luachra that the change had to be made to appreciate the inherent racial differences.

"Here in Kerry we're a bit mad. HUP! So we couldn't be content to just make a mark with a pencil on a piece of paper when voting, God no. That's far too mundane. By replacing ballot boxes with...ballot BOXES, we have muhc better craic when going to the polls."

"The process is fairly simple really: all you have to do is play a tune to indicate which way you want to vote. For example you can do it by tune name. If someone came in and played 'King of the Fairies', then that would be a yes vote but if someone played 'The Maid Ne'er Forgot' then that'd be a No vote."

The procedure is quite complicated with many variations of tunes being taken into account. Over ornamentation of a tune can also indicate a yes vote while playing something like a mazurka would indicate a staunch no.

Specialist adjudicators have been brought in to monitor the playing with everyone in the Sliabh Luachra region required to play a tunes. The process is expected to take all day and night, Friday and Saturday. Some polling stations have already erupted into full blown festivals with many musicians hanging around to sample the music.

"Sure this is great craic. A good warm up to the summer ye know? Jaysus we should have a referendum every week!"