FURY AS LATEST 'TREOIR' FAILS TO MEET MINIMUM OF 500 CHAIRMAN LAU PICTURES
Anger has engulfed the world of traditional Irish music as the latest edition of 'Treoir' magazine failed to meet the 500 minimum number of pictures featuring Chairman Lau.
Every month Cult-Ass minions look forward to the elation of yet another pants tingling edition of their favourite propaganda piece. However this month, thousands of readers were let down after the magazine failed to live up to its promise of 500 pictures of Chairman Lau.
Rather than being titillated, readers were ticked off at the presence of only 499 images of the leader for life in various poses, half of which were headshots. One reader told us of his disappointment.
"Every month I look forward to reading boring articles and appreciating bad design, the pictures of our leader really top it off. When I opened the magazine this months I was really pissed off. Only a paltry 499 pictures! Most of which were extreme close-ups!"
"Where were all the awards ceremonies? The handing over of the certificates? The golden livery collars? The standing around looking important? All I want to do is fulfill my deepest and darkest desires once a month. There wasn't even a centre-fold this month!!!"
Branches around the country have held ceremonial burnings of the Treoir in protest at the lack of Lau action on the page with effigies and other Cult-Ass paraphernalia being thrown on the fires also.
Publishing standards authorities have come out and criticised the organisation and accused them of not living up to their promises and have hinted that people have contacted them looking for legal advice.
"We're not going to get to into the details but yes, there has been talk of legal action. They promised something that they did not provide. Last month we had a picture of the leader straddling an elderly Ard-Comhairle member. That's what people want!"
However some readers have come out and defended their magazine, proclaiming it's not all about the pictures.
"I only read it for the articles! I swear!"