BODY OF TUNES FOUND BY GARDAÍ
Gardaí have released details regarding the discovery of a body of tunes that was found last night in an apartment in inner city Galway.
The discovery was made last night by a neighbour and it is thought that it had been lying there for up to 8 hours. Gardaí also said that the body was alive when first discovered and was brought to archivists by paramedics where it died in the early hours of this morning.
The musician using the body of tunes is thought to be a concertina player and left behind a number of pieces of evidence including a Suttner concertina, an iPod and headphones. Detectives believe that the musician was using the body for their own nefarious work.
"This person is obviously sick in the head. We think that they acquired the body over the internet, an original Chief O'Neill's, and thought it would be...fun...to mess around with some of the insides. Disgusting."
"The bastard. I've seen some sick things in my life but nothing like this. When we came across the body they had marked in chromatic notes with a pen and changed the keys of some tunes. It was in such a bad state that even archivists couldn't save it."
Gardaí have told the public that the culprit is still at large and to be wary of anyone with a penchant for wild ornamentation and tunes in strange keys and to be especially vigilant at sessions in the Galway area.
Rumours have spread in the area that the musician tried to burn the body to dispose of evidence and that bits of paper lay strewn all over the apartment. Locals expressed their horror at the news.
"Jesus. I can't see anyone living in that apartment again after hearing about this. Juts knowing the horror that went on in those walls just gives me the shivers. I feel dirty. I'm on my down to Tigh Coilí to wash the stink of those chromatic notes off me."