GRADAM CEOIL PANAL RUNNING OUT OF MEN TO BESTOW AWARD ON
The judging panal for this year's Gradam Ceoil awards have told insiders for The Drone that they are in danger of running out of men to bestow the award and have no back up plan.
Following the announcing of this year's recipients, people were left wondering as to what men exactly were left to pick up the award in future years. This prompted a major panic on the part of event organisers who fear that they will be defunct once all the men in traditional music are lugging around a metal tree sculpture and handy cheque in their pocket.
The infamous 'panal' of judges changes every few years and is given the responsibility of choosing recipients of and creating awards categories out of thin air. However this will soon be a thing of the past as spokesperson for the panal Thaddeus O'Luanaigh told The Drone.
"The panel have a very difficult job to do but they make light work of it. There isn't a man on earth they can't create a category for. But the problem is we are running out! Many of the men who run Irish music and keep it alive have an award already!"
"Soon, all the men will have one. When this happens frankly we won't know what to do! We have no plan B. Maybe we'll have to start going younger and give them to the boys. A type of pre-emptive award hoping that the kids will have some impact and influence on the music. Sure where else is it going to come from other than a man?"
When approached about the idea of women getting the award the idea was met with confusion, with O'Luanaigh saying he had heard some rumours about a woman or possibly even two receiving the award some years ago but that this could simply be 'hear say'.
"It's up to the panel really to decide what's best. I heard somewhere that a young woman got an award this year but that are for me is a bit of a blur."
The Drone gained exclusive rights to the transcripts of the panel meetings which are published in full below:
Panel Member 1: "What about...Kevin Burke...?"
Panel Member 2: "...*sigh* Whatever..."
*END OF TRANSCRIPT*