A local traditional Irish musician has told The Drone that he is looking forward to spending Valentine's Day this year with the love of his life: his favourite brand of beer.
When asked about his plans this year, the accordion player said that he had a real hot date lined up who has a "beautiful, slender body; smooth, long neck and a whole case of sisters". Little did we know he was talking about a bottle of his favourite beer.
While many Joe Soaps will be spending Valentine's Day with their loved ones, this man and many other musicians like him, will be spending it with the special brand of alcohol that they have in their life.
"This beautiful thing you see here changed my life. I was sitting in a session one night and she came straight over and sat right down on the table in front of me. The tensions was incredible as I watched the persperation trickle down her neck!"
"I had to taste her right away! When my lips met hers I knew that was it. The rest of my life flashed before my eyes: Christmasses, birthdays, weddings. I knew I would be spending all the big moments in my life with her. God I love that beer!"
Many Irish musicians live a solitary life being married to the music rather than finding connections with other members of the same species. Alcohol represents the best partner that they can find: non-judegmental, your best friend and always making sure you make the right decisions.
The man says that he is already planning a proposal but that his wandering eye may scupper any plans he has.
"I love this girl but I'm already eyeing up her sisters over there in that case. You can never have just one!"