TG4 PUT BRENDAN GLEESON INTO STORAGE UNTIL NEXT YEAR'S GRADAM CEOIL AWARDS

February 22, 2016

TG4 executives have ordered for actor Brendan Gleeson to put back into storage until the Gradam Ceoil 2017 which takes place a whole year from now.

 

The Irish language television station called for the Hollywood star to be placed in their warehouse in Connemara following a successful appearance at the annual traditional music awards in Cork last night and it is here he will stay locked away until next year's ceremony.

 

Executives for the television station have said that the actor's appearance on the show bumps the viewing figures up by numbers in the double digits and that he is far too valuable to be allowed wander around the real world.

 

"Brendan is a wonderful guy and great actor. For him to appear at the Gradam Ceoil is a major coup for us as he attracts an audience who normally wouldn't give a damn about the music. Plus he's great for injecting a bit of excitement into the mundane lives of traditional musicians!"

 

"In order for him to be in pristine condition for an appearance at next year's show he'll be put onto the top shelf in our warehouse in Connemara alongside the entire collection of TG4 weather girls and that miserable old lad from Ros Na Run."

 

Over the past few years the station has involved Brendan in the awards ceremony and made no secret of the fact that Brendan himself is a fiddle player by ramming it down the public's throats.

 

Doctors are employed to inject Gleeson with botox and other substances in order to maintain his youthful appearance and massage 'Just For Men' into his scalp so he can keep his locks of red hair. The actor will also be kept in bubble-wrap with a 'caution' sign hanging around his neck to deter anyone who might be tempted to disturb the Irish actor from his year long slumber.

 

Please reload

Archives

Please reload

Recent Posts

FOREIGN MUSICIANS FLOWN INTO IRELAND TO FILL PUBS WITH MUSIC

April 17, 2020

MUSICIANS ON SKYPE SESSION ALL NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN

April 13, 2020

TEMPLE BAR TRADFEST AUDIENCE UNSURE IF MUSICIAN IS TUNING UP OR PLAYING SHITE MODERN TUNE

January 24, 2020

1/5
Please reload

DISCLAIMER: Everything on this website, if you haven't noticed, is 'faux-news'. This means none of it is true...nothing...nada...zilch. It is all purely for humour's sake. If you don't have a sense of humour you shouldn't be here or anywhere where there are other humans. If you have a complaint please contact us and we will send our customer care team to your house when upon their arrival you will be euthanised. Enjoy!