POACHER HUNTERS BROUGHT IN TO PROTECT LAST GOOD ACCOMPANISTS

In a drastic move, traditional Irish musicians have brought in poacher hunter from the African savannah to protect the last good accompanists from extinction.

The hunters are known for the tactical prowess in protecting endangered species from poachers on the African continent and have been employed here to ensure the survival of a small number of accompanists who can actually play without ruining the music.

Numbers of good accompanists have become dangerously low in recent years, with many musicians left dazed and confused by some of the backing seen in music sessions.

“This was a last resort really. We can’t afford to lose the last of the great backers. There used to be loads of them back in the day but every Tom, Dick and Harry seems to pick up a bodhran or a guitar as a supposed quick and easy way into the music.”

“The poacher hunters take no prisoners! They’ll fend off any other genres of music, Cult-Ass officials and purists who think they can take these treasures away from us!”

Musicians have described the good accompanist as the rarest of creatures in the Irish music world and can only be born in mixture made from a lock of Alec Finn’s hair, a piece of Steve Cooney’s dreadlocks and one of Charlie Lennon’s fingernails.

The poacher hunters have said they are deeply honoured to be handed the task and will be a visible presence at all the festival over the summer months.