SLIABH LUACHRA OPTS TO LEAVE IRELAND IN SLEXIT VOTE

The music region of Sliabh Luachra has voted to leave Ireland in a SLEXIT referendum today in protest at what locals say is a continuing loss of Sliabh Luachra syle tunes.

Sliabh Luacha’s exit campaign or ‘SLEXIT’, was led by local musicians who were unhappy at the continuing influx of ‘foreign tunes’ such as reels, jigs and slow airs into the tradition.

Campaign leaders accused refugee musicians of taking their music students and their session seats and of diluting the pure blood Sliabh Luachra locals. Jackie Daly told The Drone:

“This is a fightback against the rest of the traditional Irish music union. Sliabh Luachra has a proud history. Our royal family of King Murphy and Queen Clifford would not be happy at what has happened to our glorious nation.”

“We don’t like the direction that the tradition is headed. Singers with sexy voices, fiddle players up on stage shakin’ their arses, long haired wankers playing their funky reels. It’s not what Sliabh Luachra is about.”

The campaigners say that they are better off without the jigs and reels and that slides, polkas and slip-jigs are what makes Sliabh Luachra great and that people want to live under the Sliabh Luachra flag (seen left) and passport.

However campaigners for the remain side said that the leave side was based on dangerous fantasies and that leaving the Irish tradition would have serious consequences for future generations.

A spokesperson said: “Right now they have a good mix of tunes and instruments. But in the future you might have a generation that will be entirely exposed to just accordions that play polkas and slides. That’s it. They will have no choice!”