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REPORT: INCREASE IN NUMBER OF TRAD GROUPS GETTING LOST IN THE WILDERNESS

January 28, 2016

A report by The Drone News has found a huge increase in the number of Irish and Scots traditional groups getting lost in the wilderness.

 

Groups all over Ireland and Scotland have always been susceptible to wandering off however this year has seen a huge increase in these ensembles somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere with little or no explanation as to why or how they got there.

 

Gardai have told The Drone that they have been receiving more and more phone calls from people reporting missing traditional groups and that they plan to set up a special task force to deal with the situation.

 

“This is a massive pull on our resources. Every day we receive a new report of a band that has simply vanished and ended up in the woods or by a river bank or the middle of a meadow somewhere with no recollection of how they got there.”

 

“It’s then up to us to go and rescue them. In response to this we’ve had to set up a special division in order to cope with the strain on resources: the Traditional Rescue and Assistance Division or T.R.A.D. for short.”

 

The Government has said that this increase in lost groups is fast becoming the great crisis of our time and has already factored this into the budget for the coming year.

 

People all over the country have reported seeing traditional musicians wandering aimlessly around local woods and fields with many hanging around for days.

 

Musicians say that this phenomenon usually occurs close to launching a CD and begins with a black-out and the musicians waking up in their best clothes in the middle of nowhere. One musician says there is no known cure and that it will affect groups long into the future.

 

“It happened to us a few times and we’re sure it will happen again. As long as people keep releasing CDs then musicians will end up lost somewhere.”

 

 

 

 

 

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