ARTS COUNCIL TO FUND TRADITIONAL ARTS WITH COPPERS FROM THEIR PIGGY BANK

Arts Council Executives have said they plan to fund the traditional Irish arts this year using the coppers they've been saving in their piggy bank over the whole of 2015.

This news follows their decision to funding for the traditional arts by 41% despite future plans to wheel out traditional music for publicity or to impress celebrities and/or dignitaries.

The funding process was overseen by a panel who gave final decisions on such matters and ultimately decided that the traditional arts in many cash-strapped areas were 'probably grand' and that their piggy bank will provide more than enough funds to buy pints for musicians.

"We have a difficult job trying to distribute funds on merit and without prejudice. We thought that Irish music seems to be in a healthy place with all the money that Cult-Ass seems to be making and re-distributing. Sure Irish musicians only spend the money on drink anyway."

"So this year we decided we would dip into our piggy bank and give them all the pennies that were inside. We think it will be quite generous! The funding is about 43,254 altogether...Pennies that is. That adds up to around €432.54! That's plenty for a good round of drinks!"

The council says that because they have to open the piggy bank with a hammer that they'll seek to claim the price of the piggy bank back from the funding, plus the use of the hammer and labour costs, leaving the total funding at about €200.

They also claim that if there are further succesful applicants in the 2nd round, then they will receive a generous donation of the coins found down the back of their couch and the bits of fluff they pull out of their trouser pockets.