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WOMAN HAD NO IDEA LEADING KIDS' SESSION WOULD BE SO UNREWARDING

October 11, 2016

 

A female traditional musician tasked with leading a children's session at a local festival has said that she had no idea how unrewarding the whole experience would be.

 

The kids' session took place a family friendly pub/restaurant during the afternoon, allowing annoying parents to bring their stupid families along for the day. The woman leading the session described the experience as 2 hours that she will never get back.

 

Upon finding the venue, the woman was met with a crowd of impatient pre-teens asking their clueless parents to tune their multi-coloured instruments. This set alarm bells ringing in her head.

 

"Frankly I was just there for the money as who could be bothered playing with kids for 2 hours straight for any other reason? I thought that I might get a kick out of it as well but was way off the mark. It's always a bad sign when you have retarded parents clapping before any music whatever has been played."

 

"It got worse when we did start playing. Usually there's one kid at these things who's able to play a bit so it's not completely awful, but not here. It was a case of going around the circle and getting little Jimmy to play his 'version' of Maggie in the Wood, which sounds more like someone pulling on a rat's knat, for the umpteenth time."

 

She went on to describe the painful experience of playing The Dingle Regatta with full choreography and participation by a collection of gee bag mothers, who continually encouraged their kids to play their favourite tune from a collection of ones they hate, on an instrument they couldn't be arsed practising, in a musical genre they despise.

 

Despite being paid in cash by an overly enthusiastic middle aged woman at the end of the gig, the session leader said she couldn't help but feel a part of her had died during that session and vowed never to go near another kids related event.

 

"I think one of my ovaries shrivelled a bit after that session."

 

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