This year's 'Burning of the Nylon Strings Guitars' has gone off without any major problems, organisers say.

The annual Government sanctioned culling took place last night at Leinster House. Every year, hundreds of Nylon strings guitars are ritually burned in order to stem the recent tide of thumpy chord players.

Jimmy Deenihan, Minister for Arts, Heritage and the Gaeltacht, spoke about the need for such action following the increase in people with no Latin background taking up the instrument and the crossover of steel string players during the last few years.

"This is an important event with real cultural significance. The Government has pumped millions into this project and to see it take place is something special. We are dedicated to this cause and are already looking forward to next year's cull."

The guitars are offered up to the Nylon God, Steve Cooney, as a ritual sacrifice so that no-one may take up the instrument without proper instruction on right hand finger picking and Flamenco technique such as rasgueo, picado, arpeggio, tremolo and alzapua.

Deenihan said, "I don't know why people can't just stick to the bright sound of steel strings. If they're going to play the Nylon guitars with a pleck they might as well just pick up a regular guitar."


Recent Posts

DISCLAIMER: Everything on this website, if you haven't noticed, is 'faux-news'. This means none of it is true...nothing...nada...zilch. It is all purely for humour's sake. If you don't have a sense of humour you shouldn't be here or anywhere where there are other humans. If you have a complaint please contact us and we will send our customer care team to your house when upon their arrival you will be euthanised. Enjoy!