'GAME OF DRONES': SEAMUS ENNIS-V-PATSY TUOHEY

Welcome to the first in a new series entitled 'Game of Drones', where uilleann pipers past and present will be pitted in a battle to the death to see who will win the 'Iron Drone'...First up are the legendary Seamus Ennis and Patsy Tuohey:

Seamus Ennis

Seamus has a long and rich history behind him. Being one of the foremost bearers of the tradition he carries great experience and a wealth of tunes to back him up. He is also one of the founders of the 'House of NPU' and has the ability to call on a whole legion of pipers led by the vicious Breandán Breathnach to assist him. His Coyne pipes are lethal also; a swift blow to the temple is sure to render any adversary...deceased. In his arsenal he also carries heavy duty recording equipment; first he confuses his enemies with his beautiful slow air playing and then strikes a deadly blow with said recording equipment. In the event of defeat, Seamus blinds his enemies with his extra long fingers and retreats to the 'House of Easter Snow' to take shelter.

Patsy Tuohey

The 19th Century piping wizard is a deadly match for anybody. Patsy carries an advantage over many other pipers; the ability to confuse opponants with his left handed style of playing. Residing in the 'House of Bristow' in the Bronx, Patsy is able to surround himself with legends of Irish music; his aquantaince Captain Francis O'Neill is quick on the draw. Tuohey's pipes also carry an extra regulator key in place of the middle drone as an added array to his lethal Taylor set. He also has a superior fashion sense to many pipers (past and present) and uses this to dazzle and intimidate along with his 'hyper-phenomenal' playing.

After a lengthy and bloody battle, Patsy Tuohey is undone by his own vanity. Seamus Ennis distracts him with over the top compliments and a hand mirror and while Tuohey is admiring himself, Ennis dispatches him with a swift kick to the gonads.

Verdict: Seamus Ennis Wins


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