TIONÓL REPORT: PIPER OSTRACIZED FOR PLAYING 'BACK D' TRIPLET THREATENING TO JUMP FROM LISTOWEL ARMS

Breaking news from the Piping Tionól in Kerry tells us that a piper who was criticized for playing a notorious 'back D' triplet is threatening to jump from the roof of the Listowel Arms Hotel if his demand that all pipers be treated equally not be taken seriously.

The man, identified as Larry, 34 and from the Listowel area, was said to have been in a jovial mood earlier on Saturday but this changed dramatically after an incident that same night. While playing in a session with 15 other pipers, an onlooker heard someone play a 'back D' triplet during a set of reels.

"I was listening to the session when all of a sudden my attention was caught by a strange piece of ornamentation. I recognised it immediately. I was so disturbed by it that I went straight up to the piper leading the session and informed him of what had happened. I wasn't sure who did it but I felt compelled to say something."

Immediately the session leader addressed his comrades and asked each of them to play the tune bar the triplet was heard in. By process of elimination, Larry was identified as the ornamentor and was told to leave the premises. Onlookers say a tense stand off ensued where Larry tried to explain his actions but then packed away his pipes and left in a huff.

The NPU released a statement shortly afterward, distancing themselves from Larry and the 'back D' triplet. However these events have quickly escalated, resulting in the current stand-off at the Listowel Arms. Witnesses reported seeing Larry climb the fire escape of the hotel and onto the roof.

A crowd quickly gathered down below which Larry began to address, telling them that "all pipers must be given equal status, regardless of their ornamental persuasion". He is threatening to throw himself off the roof unless Jimmy Deenihan personally talks him down.

The situation is currently ongoing and the authorities are playing Seamus Ennis over a Garda loudspeaker to help calm the man. 'The Drone' will keep you informed of the outcome...