WORLD RECORD NUMBER OF HEADACHES CAUSED BY FLEADH TIN WHISTLE WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT

In another toe-curling attempt to make traditional Irish music more 'mainstream', Cult-Ass has inadvertently set two new World Records: the first by having the most amount of tin whistles playing at the same time, and the second, the most amount of headaches caused by having to listen to said World Record attempt.

Just over 2,500 tin whistlers gathered in Chadwicks Wexford Park GAA Stadium during the Fleadh to make the World Record, almost the same number of tin whistle players in Under 9 and Under 12 County Fleadh tin whistle competitions.

As a result of the mindless blowing, a World Record number of headaches and migraines were caused in the surrounding area, leading to shortage of Paracetamol and beta blockers at local Pharmacies. One local resident spoke to The Drone:

"I was just minding my own business, watching television, waiting for the Fleadh TV programme to end when all of a sudden my evening was disturbed by this God-awful sound. I thought it tinnitus at first but then my dog started going mad. I realised then that it was the sound of the Devil's Pipe, the instrument of chaos - the tin whistle."

"My evening was ruined! It was already disturbing enough having to sit through the Fleadh TV programme, and then to have these tin whistles on top of it all. Not even my noise cancelling headphones could block it out."

The World Record attempt was considered a bold move and described as a serious test of the limits of human patience and an auditory endurance challenge. It has now seemingly blown up in Cult-Ass's face with Head Office in Monkstown now receiving multiple invoices for health care from affected people.

Participants were thrilled with their achievement, blissfully unaware that their melodious massacre had turned the quaint town into a sonic war zone. The Fleadh may never be the same, and neither will the eardrums of those unfortunate enough to witness this tuneful tragedy.

As the ear-piercing symphony of chaos came to a close, adjudicators were left clutching their heads, wondering if a World Record could be set for mass-suffering, but indeed it had.