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'NOT A CASE OF A MULTI-INSTRUMENTALIST': CULT-ASS ADDRESS CONCERTINA PLAYER SUPPOSEDLY BORN AN ACCORDION PLAYER AT THE FLEADH

Traditional music overlords Cult-Ass have denied that there is a case of a multi-instrumentalist entering the concertina competition at this year's Fleadh after another competitor pulled out after only playing one round of their first tune.


It has been reported that the concertina player in question, Thaddeus O'Luanaigh, allegedly played strong accompanying bass notes as he played the concertina. It was this style of playing that drew the ire of conservative purists at the annual competition calling out an 'Instrument-Woke agenda'.


Observers at the competition said O'Luanaigh's style was reminiscent of an accordion player and that when a fellow competitor followed to play their tunes, they simply broke down in tears during their first set.


"It was shocking," said one observer, "That a poor young concertina player should be preceded by this horrible, attacking style playing. It was awful so it was. The concertina is supposed to be a real feminine instrument, played real lady-like and sensitive. Not this strong attacking nonsense!"


The observer continued, "The girl who played after him just broke down during her first tune and said she couldn't go on, that she felt too intimidated by the previous competitor's playing. She just got up and ran out of the room in tears. And here I was looking forward to hearing her version of The Glasgow Reel. What a shame."


Cult-Ass have released a statement denying the claims, saying the competitor went through rigorous instrumentalability tests to determine if the concertina player was eligible to compete, including checking their muscle tone, whether they sweat profusely when they play, and play 'Port na bPucai' with their eyes closed the whole time, typical traits of accordion players.


Conservative purists have called the competition a farce and that allowing multi-instrumentalists compete is unfair on the other competitors, "It's not fair! Other players should be allowed to have a few pints beforehand to level the playing field!" said one detractor.


The controversy continued when conertina player O'Luanaigh tested positive for B/C tuning rather than standard D tuning on the concertina, leading to questions surrounding him being born an accordion player. However, these claims were unfounded when it turned out he just listened to a lot of Joe Burke recordings.

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