'The Drone' is proud to announce its first annual 'Tune Composition Competition', a competition for budding composers and chancers of all ages.
Competitors are being asked to compose an original tune of their choice and send them into 'The Drone' editor Tansey von Frankiegavin for adjudication. The prizes on offer include an out-of-date scratchcard, the opportunity for your tune to be played by a Roma gypsy on the street 24 hours a day for a week on a toy accordion and the opportunity for your tune to never be recorded by anyone ever.
Some tunes have already been submitted. Here is a flavour of some of this year's entries:
Flann O'Luanaigh - 'The Maid Behind the Urinal'
MacDara 'Dara' MacDara - 'Come Up to the Room I Want Ye But Not Really So Feck Off'
Sinéad Ó'Náire - 'The Walk of Shame'
Mick McMickey - 'The Flaccid Hornpipe'
Nora Ward - 'Comb Your Hair and Curl It So You Don't Get Any Vomit In It'
All entries should be put in a stamped addressed envelope, placed in the bin and never spoken of again...