GARTH BROOKS TAKES UP 7 YEAR RESIDENCY IN THE COBBLESTONE PUB

Internationally renowned country music star and disingenuous moaner Garth Brooks is to take up the role of 'Artist-in-Residence' in The Cobblestone pub in Smithfield following the 3rd cancellation of his 5 Croke Park concerts.

Paul Lee has announced that the 160,000 ticket holders will get to see Mr. Brooks perform 1,777 shows in the back room in the Cobblestone over 7 years. This is a totally unexpected move however Mr. Brooks revealed that this has always been his back up plan.

"As soon as I heard there was trouble with the Croke Park gigs I knew I had to have a contingency plan. The fact that this opportunity has come up is perfect really! I'm looking forward to living in Ireland for the next 7 years! I finally feel welcome in Ireland again!"

The concerts are already sold out, this is despite the majority of them not having a proper license required to run the concerts however Paul Lee says that "they'll wing it and sure hope for the best!"

Garth has insisted that all the shows be at night time as he hates matinees. He goes on to say that this decision was for the fans and no other reason, that they all deserve to be treated the same, as he is just a regular cowboy. He also needs time during the day to relax in his ivory tower and count his millions of dollars.

Owner of The Cobblestone Tom Mulligan commented that while no-one has ever won 5 in a row in Croke Park, the only one to ever do 1,777 in a row in the Cobblestone was fiddler Mick O'Grady. When asked about the residency, everybody said:

"I'm sick to death of hearing about that overweight cowboy!"