PADDY MOLONEY SPENDS ROUSING SATURDAY NIGHT IN WITH MUMMIFIED 1930s FIDDLERS

Chieftain founder Paddy Moloney has spent another jolly Saturday night at home with the mummified corpses of Michael Coleman, James Morrison and Paddy Killoran.

Instead of going out to play some tunes, Moloney spend the evening regaling his guests his stories of his days spent with the Chieftains, despite the fact that his guests have no working nervous system.

The 1930s fiddle greats remains have been kept beneath Moloney's house for the last few years in a specially designed chamber in an effort to keep their cadavres as fresh and smell free as possible.

"We had a great time altogether! We sipped some of my finest single malt and puffed on a few Cuban cigars I kept hidden away for special occassions. We even tried playing a tune until Morrison's bow arm fell off."

"I'm sure he'll be able to put it back on. They don't call him the Professor for nothing! Ah yes we had a great time. They were a bit quiet seeing as they couldn't talk because of the gangrene and losing their tongues but I can tell they enjoyed it!"

Neighbours have regularly complained about the smell emanating from Moloney's house every Saturday night but authorities are slow to react as the laws around entertaining corpses are quite non-existant.

However the night came to an abrupt end after Michael Coleman's corpse broke both its legs while attempting his old party trick of playing the fiddle and dancing at the same time.