MUSICIANS FLEE TEMPLE BAR DURING ST. PATRICK'S DAY CELEBRATIONS

Traditional Irish musicians who normally frequent pubs in Dublin have been forced to flee due to the overbearing crowds on Saint Patrick's Day.

Today marks the national holiday during which thousands of revellers stop giving out about their Irishness and pretend to embrace all aspects of their culture. However it is the musicians who have come off worst and been forced to abandon all hope of music on this day.

Gangs of musicians have been spotted fleeing through Temple Bar to the sounds of requests for 'The Lonesome Boatman', 'Dirty Oul Town' and 'The Glasgow Reel'. One musician described the experience:

"We expect this every year but today was particularly bad. Sometimes there is space for a session but eventually we have to leave because of the crowd! They just don't shut up asking for the same crappy tunes!"

"Sure tomorrow they'll go back to saying the music is shite and all that. But Jaysus today was bad. We had to get out of there a lot earlier than we thought. And to make matters worse we had to go through Temple Bar, the stomping ground for annoying plonkers!"

The musicians claim they barely made it out with their musical dignity intact. One musician went into shock and required an immediate fix of decent tunes but was lucky enough to have an iPhone containing some Paddy Cronin recordings.

Saint Patrick's Day is usually met with rolling eyes by musicians as they all know the ramifications of the event however many come well prepared with some practising their zoned out face, request-ignoring skills and listening for the next tune skills for months beforehand.

"We have it down to a fine art but this year we were taken by surprise. We'll come better prepared next year with pepper spray."