FIDDLE PLAYER IN STOCK PHOTOS KNOWS SHE ISN'T FOOLING ANYONE
A model posing with a fiddle for a number of stock photos knows very well that she isn't fooling anyone with any knowledge of instruments and how to hold them.
The photos are supposed to depict a beautiful woman playing the violin however the model in these photos knows in deep in her heart that she isn't fooling anyone with her awkward poses and inability to mimic realistic playing.
Fresh from her last stock photo job of 'woman haunted by the ghosts of hamburgers past', she thought it would be a good idea to go in a more formal direction. However, her inner thoughts reveal how wrong she was about her latest job.
"I can't believe I'm doing this. I don't even know how to hold a bloody fiddle. Where the hell does everything go? Maybe if I just look all intense like then people will think I know exactly what I'm doing..."
"Ah who am I kidding, I look ridiculous. I'll just pout more to distract from my horrible posture. Or even stare off into the distance...yeah. That'll work."
Fiddle players around the world simultaneously breathed a sharp intake of breath upon seeing the photos, horrified at her fiddle and bow hold, the fact that she is playing a normally tuned fiddle left handed and her sawing away up the fingerboard.
Even apparent ambidexterity didn't appease the musicians as miraculously switches hands mid photo session. Despite a dramatic head leaning back and eyes closed, deep in the music, her bow hold lead a lot to be desired.
"I know not there aren't many models who play the fiddle but I mean, how hard is it to find somebody at least half-decent looking that can play or even hold the thing properly? You know, somebody with sultry good looks and beautiful, flowing locks of hair", questioned Martin Hayes as he performed his best 'Blue Steel'.
To celebrate this awful imagery we've put together 'The Best of the Worst Stock Photo Fiddlers'. Enjoy.