ANNUAL MIGRATION OF EVERYBODY TO MILTOWN MALBAY BEGINS
The entire population of traditional Irish musicians have begun their annual migration to the west Clare village of Miltown Malbay in anticipation of 'the craic'.
Anthropologists have told The Drone that the migratory process of these 'headcases' takes place every year in early July and involves the movement of massive groups of the species from their mundane lives to the Willie Clancy Summer School.
Far from being a choice, this mass movement has become ingrained and been passed down in peoples genes causing this species to have an uncontrollable desire to travel to Miltown Malbay which lasts appoximately 51 weeks of the year.
"It's not a choice. These headcases might be minding their own business and then all of a sudden they find themselves in a car headed to county Clare."
"For others they see it as a ritual. From the packing to the arrival in the village, everything is sacred. It's traditional for people driving into the village for the first time to roll down their windows and blare out 'Noel Hill and Tony MacMahon' at full volume."
The species is known for desperately searching for lifts to the festival and packing the essentials that headcases need to survive the week: a swimming costume for use in the freezing cold at Spanish Point, a 'look-cool stand' for drinking outside Friel's and a crate of Bulmers, just because.
The headcases can be seen most likely at night-time on the main street travelling in groups called 'mumurations', moving in intricate, drunken formations from pub to pub.