STUDY SHOWS INCREASE IN UILLEANN PIPERS BECOMING BODY BUILDERS

A recent study obtained by The Drone has shown an increase in the number of uilleann pipe players becoming professional body builders, displaying another unique trend on the traditional music scene.

The uilleann pipes has grown steadily in popularity over recent years with many people taking up the instrument that was traditionally seen as being 'the hardest to play' due to its sheer physical toll on players. This has now resulted in them having rock-hard pecs and abs, leading many pipers to dip into the world of professional body building.

Seamus Ennis famously said that the pipes take 21 years to learn: 7 years learning, 7 years practising and 7 years playing. However, with many pipers using their instrument as a full upper-body workout, this saying has changed as one piper tells us.

"The pipes are now the gateway to bodybuilding. Instead of the old 21 years to learn, we've come up with our own: 7 years stretching, 7 years lifting and 7 years flexing. I entered my first competition this year and the majority of the other competitors were uilleann pipers!"

The trend has become so popular that Mr. Universe organisers are considering introducing an uilleann piping element to next year's competition. These developments haven't gone unnoticed by Cult-Ass either.

Chairman Lau: "The pipes are notoriously difficult and they take a lot of effort so I guess it was only a matter of time before this happened. Sure the senior uilleann pipes at the Fleadh became a bodybuilding competition so gradually I didn't even notice!"

"The players began turning up in their underwear, flexing their biceps every time they hit the regs and doing pec dances during their slow airs. It was only natural that we changed the rules to reflect this."

Next year's Fleadh will see the introduction of professional greasers at the uilleann pipes competition to ensure that uilleann pipers are kept well greased up at all times. Many musicians have been left unsurprised by the news however.

"Sure those uilleann pipers are show offs. We didn't need a study to tell us all this. It's a waste of money, just like those other studies that told us fiddle players are moody bastards and banjo players never marry!"