DONALD TRUMP BUILDS WALL SURROUNDING THE CHIEFTAINS
In his latest round of wall building, American billionaire and idiot man Donald Trump has announced the completion of a wall built around the traditional Irish super-group, The Chieftains.
After stumbling across the group while researching music to 'borrow' for his Republican nomination campaign for the Presidency, he decided he liked what he heard, so much so that he had a wall built on the grounds of Doonbeg Golf Course trapping the group in a bid to keep session wreckers away from their music.
Not averse to controversy, this newly built wall comes on the back of two other wall building attempts, one along the US/Mexican border and the other on the Doonbeg/Atlantic Ocean border:
"This is an important milestone. Building walls, literally and metaphorically, to keep people out or away from something is a business strategy I came up with all by myself. I heard these guys, The Chieftains, on YouTube and I gotta say, I wouldn't normally listen to Native American music but these guys I liked."
"I thought to myself 'There are people out there who might want to join in and ruin these guys music', and I couldn't let that happen. So I had this wall built especially for them. There's no way in or out so there's no chance of anybody ruining their music."
Concerns have been raised for the well-being of the group however as they themselves are trapped behind the wall with no access to food, water or toilet. No -one has heard from bodhrán player Kevin Conniff for over a week, leading many to speculate ther other members have turned to cannibalism in order to survive.
But Trump is not to be moved and says that anybody who is against the wall is just really, really ugly and dumb:
Haters gonna hate but this is how politics works. My wall in the US will keep the Mexicans out and my other wall along the sea in Doonbeg will those pesky snakes out of Ireland, just like Saint Paddy intended. I don't believe in any of the 'sea erosion' crap, just like that global warming bullshit."