COLLECTOR LOOKING FORWARD TO NOT PLAYING PRICELESS SET OF UILLEANN PIPES AND PLACING THEM IN DISPLAY

A collector with a keen interest in not playing traditional music is looking forward to placing his new set of priceless uilleann pipes in a state of the art display cabinet.

The US based non-musician has been collecting priceless instruments for a number of years and says that the set of Harrington uilleann pipes will be a welcome addition to his collection of unplayed instruments.

When asked why he chose to collect rare traditional instruments despite being unable to play them, he told The Drone that instruments are like children or rather the children he does not have because he’s a big weirdo; ‘Seen but not heard’.

“Oh I don’t care for Irish music at all! Horrible music it is. Like chewing gum for the ears! I prefer my instruments not to be played but instead looked at!”

“Especially these uilleann pipes! Sure what’s the point of putting all that effort into making them if all you’re gonna do with them is play them? Sure they sound like a bag of drowning cats!”

The collector plans to put them in his brand new display cabinet with an ambient lighting system, temperature control with touchscreen and soundproof glass: “Ah yes! That last one is just in case they decide to play themselves. Listen to that: silence! Beautiful!”

These are not the first set of uillean pipes he has purchased however, as he owns a Coyne and Rowsome set that are also not played. Some of his other instruments include a Rudall and Rose flute, a Jeffries concertina and a Paolo Soprani piano-accordion however nobody wants to play that anyway.