CALAIS MIGRANT CAMP AUTHORITIES TO HELP CLEAR ALL-IRELAND FLEADH CAMPSITES IN ENNIS

French Officials working to clear migrant shanty towns in Calais, France, are to be brought in by Cult-Ass to help clear the campsites at this year's All-Ireland Fleadh in Ennis.

Organisers for the Fleadh say that the campsites are becoming an increasing burden on the festival and have looked to the heartlessness and expertise of French authorities in order to help them deal with the problem.

Fresh from clearing the migrant camps at Calais, the French workers will be shipped in to coincide with the last day of the Fleadh in Ennis in order to make sure nobody outstays their welcome, Fleadh organisers told The Drone.

"This problem has been getting progressively worse over the last few years. Sure last year we ha a scenario where people stayed in the campsite in Sligo for weeks, even months after the festival had actually ended!"

"They kept sayin' they had nowhere else to go but I wouldn't believe a word of it. Most of them were there illegally too! I'd say around 50% of them didn't have wristbands! In the end we had to get local demolition experts in to drive them out. That hopefully won't be the case this year."

Fleadh organisers hope that the French authorities cold nature and sly tactics will ensure nobody stays longer than they should in Ennis, saying that their expertise in clearing 'The Jungle' in Calais will be vital in clearing what has become known as 'The Bog' at recent Fleadh Ceoils.

"If the musicians stay we'll destroy their crappy caravans and their sorry looking tents. Sure who would bother their arse camping in Ireland anyway?"