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NASA DISCOVER NEW PLANETS CAPABLE OF SUSTAINING AN ALL-IRELAND FLEADH
March 1, 2017
Scientists at NASA have announced that they have discovered a new solar system containing planets that could potentially sustain an All-Ireland Fleadh.
Astronomers have detected no less than 7 Earth-like planets orbiting a star call TRADDIST-1. Each of the planets appear to have large land masses, increasing the likelihood of them being able to host an All-Ireland Fleadh, seeing as many of the towns in Ireland are having trouble subsiding the event themselves.
Cult-Ass officials have welcomed the news and said that the discovery ensures that the All-Ireland Fleadh will live on long after Earth's demise.
"Sure Earth was never a long-term option when the Fleadh was invented. The Cult-Ass founders always had big ideas for the future of the organisation and thank God they had the foresight to invest so heavily in the work done at NASA."
"All the money that's made by Foinn Seisiun, the various tours, etc. is ploughed into NASA. This is the fruit of our investment! The numbers coming to the Fleadh are getting so big that we'll have to take it to another planet eventually. Now I'm no good at judging the size of crowds, but I'd say there were about 17 million people at last year's Fleadh in Ennis."
It is thought that the large open plains found on these new planets would be perfect for a large campsite, capable of providing space for hundreds of thousands of campers. There will of course still be one toilet and one shower to be shared among all of these people with different coloured wristbands for different planets.
Cult-Ass also said that different competitions will be held on different planets, increasing the frustration of people playing in competitions that may be on at the same time. This may not be for a few years however as the solar system lies 39 light years from Earth and would take thousands of years to reach, roughly the same amount of time it takes for funds to filter through to grassroots Cult-Ass branches.