'ARE YE GOING TO THE FLEADH?', ASKS DROGHEDA GANG MEMBER

A local Drogheda gang member has been expressing his Fleadh spirit by channelling the recent spate of television adverts for the festival with the question, ‘Are you goin’ to the Fleadh?’

The gang member took time out of his busy schedule of fire bombing homes in the Drogheda drug feud to ask the public if they will be heading to one of the biggest gatherings celebrating traditional Irish music in the world.

For security purposes, he cannot be identified, however, he told ‘The Drone’ that he is very excited about the opportunities that the influx of visitors will create in the Louth town.

“It’s not too often that occassions like this come around! We could really do with getting a bit of influx of cash into this kip. The punters for our drugs are running low so they could do with a hand!”

“I’m also really looking forward to seeing all the crowds, meeting new people from all over the country…and mugging them. Maybe even a bit of breaking and entering. I’ve heard a lot of musicians own campervans which are really easy to break into. Lovely!”

Drogheda has been the centre of a drug-related feud between two rival gangs, an epidemic which has resulted in beatings, shootings and fire bombings. The gang member says that this has meant he has been unable to practice his accordion as much as he would like.

“I’m kept fairly busy with this feud ye know. I haven’t been able to pick up the accordion for years. I was gonna whip it out last night but sure you know yourself, I gotta call from the boss saying I had to go kneecap this fella and that was the evening gone.”

“I was thinking of picking up a new accordion though at the Fleadh. That might be the kick-start I need. I hear Conor Connolly has a lovely one. Might nick that.”

The gang member went on to say that people visiting Drogheda shouldn’t be put off by the violence plagueing the town and that criminals are people too, and also enjoy the occassional trad session.

“People should expect a warm welcome from me and my friends. It can get pretty warm outside a firebombed house ye know. We’ll see people at the sessions and enjoy the tunes. One word of advice: keep an eye on those instruments cases. Haha.”