SANTA REVEALS HIS NAUGHTY LIST, CONTAINS SURPRISING NUMBER OF BOX PLAYERS
Santa Claus has revealed his naughty list for this year, stunning people with the amount of accordion players whose names appear on his famous 'good and bad' census.
Saint Nicholas, as he sometimes known, raised a few eyebrows when he named such luminaries as Jackie Daly, Tim Edey and others, citing their different styles and use of boxes that are not red Paolo Sopranis.
"Ho ho ho! There hass been quite a few naughty people this year boys and girls! Let me see...Oh! And I see they are box players! Ho ho ho *Cough*."
"Well, this year I saw a lot of box players playing very fast, modern style music. Sharon Shannon for instance plays very fast and very strange tunes. Tony MacMahon released a new CD but he plays a GREY Paulo Soprani, not like my trusty red...I mean, like other people might play."
This news has led people to question the authenticity fo the announcement and the identity of Santa Claus, saying that he resembles a well known musician however they can't quite put their finger on it.
Local woman: "I know he looks like someone...but I can't quite think of who. I know they're very hairy...hmmmm...one of the Celtic Women?"
Santa also released his good list for 2014 which was made up entirely of people named 'Joe Burke' and 'Anne Conroy-Burke'.