DUMBASS MUSICIANS DEFEND OPEN-CARRY INSTRUMENT ARMS RIGHTS
Musicians in favour of open carry rights have defended their decision to bare instruments in public in a move which is sure to cause tension in areas not known for having a tradition of Irish music.
Groups of people all over the country walked in public areas today openly displaying their traditional instruments as a sign of their right to defend their musical beliefs, much to the chagrin of passers-by who clearly looked uncomfortable at the sight of piano accordions, fiddles, flutes and other traditional gear in public.
The musicians, who seemed to be of below average inteligence, said they were making a statement to the government and challenging them to come and take their instruments. We spoke to the group's leader:
"There has been lot of talk lately about restricting different types of instruments which is wrong! This is just a knee-jerk reaction to a couple of sessions gone wrong because of one guy with an instrument! People want to have their tin whistle on them just in case of a session emergency! We need these instruments!"
"What if a terrorist came over here and tried to play their Eastern music and I didn't have my piano accordion? You'd be crying out for my musical expertise on The Irish Washerwoman! This protest is to show that open carry is perfectly acceptable. When the trad police aren't around it's down to people like us to restore order and belt out a few old favourites!"
The group calling themselves the NRA (The National Reel Association) have said they have major business interests which force them to encourage open carry rights and ownership of large instruments such as the piano accordion, uilleann pipes, etc.
"We also believe that there should be an instrument in every classroom so as to deter would be session wreckers from attacking schools and universities. Every teacher and lecturer receive appropriate tuition on how to handle the instrument from notable traditional musicians."
"We would also encourage people to keep these instruments within close reach of young children as they are at an age where they are very quick learners. They should be allowed to hold the instruments whenever possible as intruders would never expect a child to be able to play a reel or jig."