CONCERTINA SHAPED CYST REMOVED FROM MAN'S HAND


Irish surgeons achieved a medical first today as they removed a concertina shaped cyst from the hand of a local man.

The procedure took over 4 hours as doctors struggled to remove the abnormally shaped growth from the man's left hand. Doctor's say this is the first time they have seen a cyst resembling a Jeffries concertina.

Cysts are usually round in shape which is how the cyst looked when it first appeared said the man. However things soon took a strange twist.

"I didn't take much notice at first as it began quite small. But after a few weeks it started to get bigger and change shape. Then one morning I woke up and thought that I had a concertina in my hand. When I had closer look I realised it was the cyst!"

"To say I was shocked would be and understatement. I don't even like the concertina! Sure I play the fiddle! Why couldn't it have been a fiddle shaped cyst? Why me?! I had to walk around for months with people looking at me in disgust, thinking I'm a concertina player."

According to the man, to make matters worse, the concertina was woefully out of tune but decided not to go to have it fixed as he was having it removed anyway.

Doctors think the cyst formed due to the growing popularity of the instrument and the sudden appearance of a number of concertina based traditional groups.

"It was quite alarming when we saw it at first but we like a challenge. Well, we knew we could remove it, the real challenge was listening to it for 4 hours. This type of cyst is unusual but like the concertina it can take over quickly and be hard to ignore if you don't nip it in the bud."


Archives

Recent Posts

DISCLAIMER: Everything on this website, if you haven't noticed, is 'faux-news'. This means none of it is true...nothing...nada...zilch. It is all purely for humour's sake. If you don't have a sense of humour you shouldn't be here or anywhere where there are other humans. If you have a complaint please contact us and we will send our customer care team to your house when upon their arrival you will be euthanised. Enjoy!